At CAJ (Headmaster blog) Remembered - March 2013

March 11, 2011 Remembered | March 2013

Two years ago Japan was rocked by a historic earthquake that led to a devastating tsunami and nuclear crisis. Those of us who were in Japan at that time will remember the intensity of the experience forever. Those that live here now are still dealing with the aftermath. People all over the world who love Japan and the Japanese people remember, and care, and are dedicating themselves and their resources to recovery efforts.

As I did last year at this time, I read through the emails I sent to staff and parents during those first difficult weeks as part of my own devotional and reflection time. I decided to share some of them in my blog this month as a memorial. This is offered as a reference for this pivotal event in Japan and CAJ's history. Remember that most of these were written as internal emails intended for CAJ staff so the references may not always be clear, but I have also included a number of emails sent to CAJ families.

You are welcome to read as little or as much of this as you like (it is very long), and please continue to pray earnestly for each other and for Japan. I was amazed as I read through these how close to the surface my emotions are even after two full years. The exceptional stresses were and are very real. We have much to do and much healing has yet to happen, but I am reassured by being part of this caring community.

Your servant in Him,
Brian Vander Haak
Headmaster

Archive: all dates are 2011

Friday night, March 11

Everyone is safe and has evacuated to the athletic field. Parents, please come pick up your children, or try to get a hold of them by email or phone so we can release them. All afternoon and evening activities are canceled. (from registrar)

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Saturday, March 12 (A)

Dear CAJ staff,

So Annie got it right: the sun did come up!

You are all my heroes. Calmness, compassion, selflessness and professionalism are the descriptors that stand out about CAJ staff from yesterday (Friday). I am proud and blessed to have been called to be a part of this special place.

We learned a lot yesterday - and we are better prepared for the next disaster because of it. We don't want to lose this opportunity to do a full self- evaluation, however. If you have comments, suggestions, questions please either send them my way via email or contribute to the Google doc posted below. Please also forward to me any feedback from the CAJ community.

Your servant in Him, and your biggest fan,

Brian

Saturday, March 12 (B)

Dear staff,

Below is a message from Jan about possible power disruptions tonight. Actually, the news is reporting possible power shortages for some time with the nuclear plants off-line/on alert.

"My husband just heard on the news that Tokyo Denryoku is warning of the possibility of teiden tonight, like after 6 p.m., as they fear they won't be able to provide all the energy required. Might want to keep our eyes on that situation, confirm it, whatever. We are putting water in containers just in case and my husband went out to buy some supplies. We saw on TV this a.m. that 660,000 homes in Ibaraki, where he works, are without power."

Jan also noticed a lot of kids are posting messages about how scared they were/are. At your discretion, an encouraging email to your students might be comforting. I will be sending at least one email this weekend out to all CAJ families as well. We are planning on school on Monday, but are, of course, monitoring the situation carefully.

Between Rita and I we have been through most areas of the school. There are a few minor messes to clean up, but nothing major so far. A blessing.

Thanks again for all the above and beyond yesterday.

Yours in Him,

Brian

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Sunday, March 13

Dear CAJ families and staff,

Today (Sunday) CAJ's emergency and administrative team will be doing further work assessing the situation. We are carefully monitoring news outlets, official communications from the Japanese and other governments, and other schools and organizations.

We will make a decision about whether to open tomorrow (Monday, March 14) by 6:00 p.m. today. That decision will be made after careful consideration of the current situation including projected traffic and train conditions, the condition of the nuclear reactors in Fukushima and anticipated effect on Tokyo, and other possible factors that might impact student and staff safety both at school and during the commute. The decision will be posted on the website, and another email will be sent out. As with all such decisions by the school, each family should make individual decisions about attending school in the coming days based on their situation.

I am exceptionally pleased at the calmness and professionalism exhibited by our staff during the difficult hours of Friday afternoon and evening. I am also very impressed with our students and families who were cooperative and helpful even as they dealt with the complications this situation caused for their own family.

Each student will react differently to what happened on Friday, what they are seeing on the news and hearing adults talk about, and what they will experience in the coming days. We were working at a school just outside of Washington DC on 9/11 (September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks) with numerous families working downtown (and even some in the Pentagon though they were spared that day - the Pentagon in Washington DC was also hit by a plane though history seems intent on remembering only the towers in New York).

Our own children and our school experienced that day (also the infamous Beltway Sniper attacks) in very personal ways and in close proximity. What we learned from that experience is that every student and family will process this experience differently. Some things we were told at the time and that we found useful as we walked our own children through each difficult situation:

1. Students of all ages (and we adults) can be traumatized by repeatedly watching the same horrific images over and over. Depending on the age and disposition of your child, you may want to consider the impact of constant media coverage in the house and the conversations you are having with others within their hearing.
2. At the same time, completely hiding or overly downplaying the situation from children can create an information gap that allows their imaginations to consider the worst as they try to make sense of your emotional reactions and what is going on around them.
3. Children, even older children, will be carefully watching the adults in their lives and basing their reactions on what they observe.
4. A quick return to normal routines and schedules as appropriate for the situation can be reassuring for many children.

At CAJ we are working on appropriate ways to follow up and process this event with the students.

The last thing I did on September 11, 2001 (9/11) after sending the last of the stranded kids to our home nearby to await parents trying to get out of a city with no mass transit running and roads clogged with traffic (sound familiar?) was to put something up on the reader board outside the school. As I opened my Bible to look for a passage it providentially fell open on Psalm 46, so I put "Be Still and Know that I Am God" up on the board and deep into my heart.

This Bible passage is my constant companion, and I heartily recommend referring to it in the conversations you have with your children in the coming days.

You will hear from me again soon. My prayers are with each of you.

Yours in Him,

Brian Vander Haak
Headmaster
Christian Academy in Japan

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Monday, March
14

Dear staff,

Good morning everyone.

Yes: it is going to be a mess today, and apparently for some time. The Seibu line is not anticipating running in this area, if that affects your commute.

We will still try to gather at school at 11 with whoever can make it safely to pursue the same objectives, but the emergency plan for running the school remotely has taken on some urgency. If you cannot make it to campus today - please watch for further instructions.

This is a challenge we will meet together, with the help of an awesome God. It will be ok.

Your servant in Him,

Brian

Dear staff,

Well - we have power at school. And the trains are running. And an unclear picture of what happens next. It does appear they may still cut the power at some point, and that the trains may not run this afternoon.

Once again: it is NOT required that you come to school. If you can safely make it, we will work on our emergency plans and next steps for students starting with prayer in the MPR at 11. Please keep in touch as best you can - and make choices based on your situation as well as personal and family needs. This is just a hiccup in achieving our mission.

Yours in Him,

Brian

I heard staff talking today about this video created by [a recent alumni] - but I know you don't all have access to it via Facebook so here is the YouTube link:

[now a dead link]

Watch it when you are ok shedding a few tears - but the promise of the lyrics also makes me thankful I have been called to this place, at this time. Greater things are still to be done in Japan, and CAJ is an important part of that. You are an important part of that. I am glad we are here to meet this challenge together.

Yours in Him,

Brian

Dear staff,

Just in case you haven't heard yet, and weren't able to make it to campus today:

We are closed until at least Thursday.

We will be meeting regularly to assess the situation and determine next steps. Educational staff are not required to come in (but are welcome to), but there are expectations as far as virtual schooling: please check with your principal. We will be running the offices tomorrow if we can with at least a skeleton staff.

Support staff and office staff should check with their supervisor about expectations, but we do not want anyone taking risks with their commute.

It was good to see so many of you today, and to hear your stories. The laughter and tears were restorative for my tired spirit and body.

Yours in Him,

Brian

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Tuesday, March 15

Dear staff,

This is the situation that Mordecai and Esther found themselves in: Haman was so infuriated that Mordecai would not kneel down to him that -

"Dispatches were sent by couriers to all the king’s provinces with the order to destroy, kill and annihilate all the Jews—young and old, women and children—on a single day, the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, the month of Adar, and to plunder their goods." Esther 3:13 (NIV)

So Mordecai went into great mourning. When Esther, living a life of luxury in the royal palace, inquired what was going on Mordecai told her in no uncertain terms that her duty was to respond to this horror by approaching the king. An action that would require huge personal sacrifice. Mordecai's response to Esther is also directed at us in our current challenging situation:

"And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14b (NIV)

I believe that God has called each of us to this time and place for a purpose. "For such a time as this." And the assurance in knowing that we are called to this together bolsters my tired body and mind, as I hope it does yours. You are special. You are strong because God has made you strong. Your actions are the epitome of Love in Action.

Hugs for everyone (and that's a big deal for me).

Your servant in Him,

Brian

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Wednesday, March 16 (A)

Dear staff,

So - though I was trained as a journalist (another thing you likely didn't know about me) and I know what the discussion was like in the newsroom yesterday, I am still extremely disappointed with the sensationalistic banner headlines in today's Daily Yomiuri about the nuclear plant disaster. If you read the article carefully, as I did end-to-end looking for new information justifying the headline (there isn't any), you find the comments that matter to us in the immediate. But even then they use inflammatory language:

"Radiation levels shot up in Tokyo..." O my! SHOT UP! But the next sentence is: "However, those levels do not pose any immediate danger to human health."

I am in no way implying that this situation is not serious or will not get worse, nor that you should dismiss that gut reaction of fear, anxiety and roller-coaster emotions we are feeling as "foolishness" or a personal failure. These are challenging times, and we are starting to feel the effects of prolonged exposure, not to radiation, but to uncertainty, anxiety, and stress. At the same time we are feeling the burden of our calling. Each of us is reacting in our own way. Many of you are seeking out multiple ways to keep busy. Bette joined others spending the afternoon making quilts with Mary Lou and her group. Several brought around plates of goodies to share (awesome frosting, Meg!). Many of you are involved with CRASH. Most of us are involved in the ministry of reassuring our supporters around the world - they are supporting us but also feeling the strain of worry about us. Some of us need to be alone; some need to seek out contact with others. Some of us feel compelled to seek out every bit of information we can; some of us need the diversion of movies, books, and long walks. We are all seeking balance. All of us are working to help advance the never-more-critical mission of CAJ of preparing students: whether it is working on lessons and virtual schooling, supporting students emotionally, making sure payroll and accounting services go forward, keeping the building and technology running, preparing for Thailand, supporting each other, showing Love in Action (I know I missed many specific jobs in that quick mental walk-around).

After 9/11 my 8th graders in Washington DC were showing signs of chronic anxiety many days later, and we spent class period after class period talking about it - as was appropriate. Many asked the questions you will also hear: How could God let this happen? Did God cause this to happen? Is my faith weak because I am so scared? So, I assigned each student a section of the Bible for homework and we looked for any reference to fear or anxiety or what happened to those in a stressful situation. We then started to list them on the huge blackboard in the room, eventually adding paper posters and a portable white board for more space. We then developed a collaborative: "theology of fear." I wish I would have kept it as a file, but I have kept it near my heart. What the students discovered is that the term fear shows up a lot but in the Bible largely means respectful awe for God, and that in passage after story after passage after reference the message from God is that He is in control, and that we are not to completely give in to panic, fear or anxiety.

We also learned that our response should be to turn outward into action and upward towards God. We also learned that the giants of the faith had to deal quite regularly with fear and anxiety and often didn't do well at first, and we talked about that at length. It is ok and to be expected that we feel fear and are weak at times.

We want to know what YOU need. We do have families that have determined that the best course of action for them is to leave the Tokyo area. If you are feeling that also, please talk to your supervisor or me. We want to support you however we can during this challenge. Do feel free to contact your supervisors or me just to chat, vent, ask questions: sorry - don't do foot massages (can't speak for Rick).

Yours in Him,

Brian

Below is some additional information about the nuclear situation from the US embassy and a British citizens group (OK—I included this one just because I want to be able to say: Sir John says...), and a link for more detailed info about the engineering/physics behind all this.

• Written by an MIT prof: but understandable explanation: [Link no longer active]
• Subject: Message to American Citizens from Ambassador John V. Roos [not included here nor is the British embassy message]

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Wednesday, March 16 (B)

Dear staff,

So: we move into a new phase. I will let your division heads explain the individual and job specific expectations for your assignment including virtual schooling, but I just wanted to let you know a few things:

1. We are not canceling school because we know something you don't. It is because it has become more and more apparent that we will not know train, power, and supply availability in time to make a good and careful decision to be open next week.
2. We do know some families are leaving Tokyo and some are leaving Japan. We have been advising the ones that contact us that we hope they will have Internet access where they are heading so they can participate in virtual schooling through next week. If they don't, we will need to have plans in place to help kids catch up. Since teachers can also do virtual schooling from anywhere there are options for you as well.
3. We are working on additional opportunities for students on campus for next week. Please talk to your supervisor if you have ideas. We remain concerned about the emotional state of our kids and we are looking for ways to help by keeping them productive, busy and connected.
4. The offices will be open in some fashion or other and the business of the school will continue.

For the coming days I would like you to ask yourself 3 questions:

1. What do I need to do for myself? My family?
2. What can I do for others? (especially those I am responsible for: students, families, peers)
3. How can I further the mission of CAJ?

There is an expectation that CAJ related work will be done in the coming days - you are still called to these jobs, this mission, these students and families, and still on the payroll. The possibilities are endless to make progress on everything from curriculum improvements to "that project" time has been scarce for. I'm personally looking forward to at least a half a day of filing and shredding. At the same time we want staff to seek balance appropriate for their own stress and family situation. Talk to us: we want to help.

Yours in Him,

Brian

For I am the LORD your God

who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)

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Thursday, March 17

Dear staff,

Almost a week since our lives shifted on their axis.

Last night I took my own advice, and allowed myself time to grieve. It didn't really start intentionally - it started with a short break from answering e-mail for a foray onto Facebook to check on friends and family. There I found the picture attached here of two delightful, elderly women sitting on the breakwater by Takayama (a missionary cabin community north of Sendai) - perched amid the rubble of the tsunami aftermath. There has been a dark, hollow spot deep inside I have tried not to visit often this week - a place where I held the despair that the beautiful people I have met on this beach over the years are almost certainly gone. This photo has brought me hope. And tears. And more tears. I hope you are allowing yourself time to feel and acknowledge sorrow. God blessed us with the ability to grieve as a way to move through and beyond the most challenging times in our lives.

Below is something I wrote for our supporters several years ago. Certainly not required or expected reading, but some of you might enjoy this glimpse into the love for this people that I share with all of you, and that place that I share with so many.

Yours in Him,

Brian

The Japanese are reported to have the longest life span in the world. We often encounter seemingly ancient people shuffling slowly around our town. Their bodies, often short enough to seem like caricatures, are stooped, carved and chiseled into smooth angles. If you have seen debarked trees that fought to grow on a stormy shore or in the wind tortured high alpine, you have seen these shapes. Their faces are studies in human erosion. They are beautiful. Their lives mirror, and their bodies seem to reflect, the 20th century in Japan. Times of great hope, promise, arrogance, and hardship. Desperate trials and difficult work. Serenity and sorrow.

Our family once again had the pleasure of spending time this holiday at our friend’s cabin on the Pacific coast of Japan. The scenery is spectacular and the beach is a restful and restorative place for our family. Every dawn I would walk our dog on a mostly deserted beach. I love to ramble along with the dog chasing whatever I throw into the surf while I search for interesting beach glass or unique flotsam and jetsam.

I find beach glass fascinating. Amidst the ugly clutter of plastic fishing floats, styrofoam, pet bottles and other human garbage are these smoothed gems that were once unsightly and even dangerous garbage. The relentless grinding of sand and waves have little apparent impact on the plastic other than to break it into more pieces of unsightly garbage, but time and wear render the broken bottles

more attractive, not less.

Every morning at the beach I encounter 3 elderly Japanese men. They mosey down the length of the seawall together then sit and chat where it abuts into a headland before returning the way they came. They love our dog, and after lots of petting, laughing, and saying things to the dog in Japanese (they know I wakarimasen: don’t understand), I have to drag the dog away. I can move some distance before the sound of the waves washes away the sound of their easy banter and unaffected laughter. I imagine they have been friends for years. I imagine their lives before, during and after the war that transformed this society and profoundly impacted everyone in Japan. Their gentle eyes and manner, their camaraderie, their calmness and apparent joy of life lead me to assume that, though they have been worn by time, waves, and wind, the effect has been one of polishing, not just wearing down. I yearn to be able to sit and listen to their life stories and gently bring them the gospel.

When I look at the young people of Japan, when I look at my own children, when I look at Bette and my lives, I wonder what the accumulated effect of our time on earth has been on us and what effect it will continue to have. Each of us has had our share of storms and sun filled days of gentle lapping waves. We are immersed in the often ugly and dangerously captivating detritus of modern culture and experience.

These things are scattered around us like garbage on the beach. I worry that the young people I see in Japan, or that I work with, or that live in my home, will be plastic. Too hard and resistant, unaffected, cynical, they will be unattractive at the end of their lives. Or, they could become like the plastic that becomes too brittle and vulnerable in the hot sun and breaks into smaller pieces of jagged litter unable to be of use to anyone, even themselves.

Please continue to pray for young people everywhere and regularly include a moment to pray for this desperate generation growing up in Japan. Pray that they will know and love the Lord. Pray that they will live lives of substance and connectedness. That they might live outward-looking lives of service and self- sacrifice that will protect them from the dangers of modern philosophy. Lives that, at the end, can be found smooth and polished, glittering on the beach.

Brian for the Vander Haaks Bette, Emily, Christopher, David (and Hana, the dog)

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Friday, March 18

Dear staff,

Someone asked me yesterday (as I was headed over to the machi to pick up some lunch) what my comfort food is. I was stumped. Hmmm. Food is comfort in general for me so hard to pick a favorite ;<) Missed sushi night this week, though, so looking forward to that this weekend. The things that do provide me comfort: my family is safe both physically and emotionally. I'm excited that David and his class are headed off to Thailand for the awesome experience of serving others. A large black dog is here with her head on my lap and unconditional love in her eyes. It is the dawn of a day the Lord has made; I intend to rejoice in it - even the flawed bits. Will be praying for each of you by name and circumstance again this morning. Please do keep us informed of your situation, condition, and the status of your virtual schooling or other responsibilities.

The familiar and the nostalgic are other comforts. Out of nowhere this old hymn worked its way into my consciousness yesterday and the old Blackwood Brothers version is what I am hearing right now:

When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll
What ever my lot you have taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul

Though the devil will ruin, though trials may come

Let this blessed assurance control
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And He shed His own blood for my soul

It is well, with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought

My sin not in part but the whole
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul

It is well, with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

And Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight

And the clouds be rolled back as a scroll
The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend
Even so, it is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of comfort.

Yours in Him,

Brian

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Saturday, March 19

Dear staff,

God is not just a God of the moment and with us in these tense days, but also the God of the big picture and the future. He knows the plans He has for us.

Though tired and concerned like everyone right now, I am excited about moving forward within His plans for us in this special place. I love the story in these pictures Lisa sent: Out of a tiny seed, a little dirt, and Sachie's care: new life.

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17

From Lisa:

On Friday right before the earthquake we [the kindergarten class] were busy planting Cosmos seeds as we are studying life cycles. Sachie has been watering them all week and here is what they look like. They are budding!! My Hope is in You Lord!! Lisa

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Sunday, March 20

Dear staff,

As a people we (particularly me) are not very good at Sabbath keeping under the best of circumstances. Our hectic lives, frenetic environment, and our do- it-all-our-way personalities drive us to energizer bunny lifestyles.

I'm thinking our all-powerful God did not really need a day of rest, and the idea of the 7th day as one set apart was almost certainly for our benefit. In turn I encourage you to consider:

1. What can you do today to set time aside for God?
2. True "rest" is obtained how for me on the day of rest God set aside for our frail human form?

I know the answers for myself:

1. Spend time praying for, and thinking about, those I love elsewhere. And time for the people of the world for whom suffering is a way of life even without a major environmental disaster. For me, I need time to turn outward and put my world back in perspective. Don't worry: there will be plenty of time to pray for you as well ;<) - I am doing so daily.
2. A long walk with the dog - rain or shine. Starting this novel I've been meaning to start for some time.

I hope your rest today is real, substantive, and restorative.

Your servant in Him,

Brian

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Monday, March 21

Dear staff,

So apparently the digital wind has shifted and there is an emerging media backlash against, well, the media. Interesting to watch, but of little use for clearing the air. The rhetoric is no less pitched from either side, accusations are flying and facts are the victim.

My office and my email inbox are a bit like a crossroad as I talk to many who are considering leaving, who have left, who are staying, and who are adamant about staying. Emotions are running high. The buildup of stress in our lives has taken its toll, and no one yet has said anything to me along the lines of: "this is no big deal for me or my family."

What I have seen:

1. A strong need to justify leaving: whether it is to take advantage of adding time to spring break for an already planned trip, to get children away from the worst case scenario, because they are being forced to by home offices or companies (that one is hard and is often related tearfully), or the most common: to get away from the stress of being here. All of these and all other reasons are legitimate, but attached to these conversations is sometimes evidence of potentially corrosive guilt feelings.
2. A strong need to justify staying: tying it to mission, or calling, or need. I admit I did this with our supporters back home: trying to get a few of them to back off of pleading with us to leave or considering us reckless. "Why are they still there?" seems to be a question many think appropriate to ask my already stressed mother.
3. A newly identified (by me, anyway) phenomena I am going to call "contact stress" (copyright and lucrative book deal pending). A number of individuals have talked to me about how they have noticed they and their children are absorbing and accumulating the stress or even panic of others. For others, when I identified this condition as a possibility, they recognized it in themselves right away. I feel this myself - and I am passing it all on to our black lab who seems fine with it. Do you think "Second-Hand Stress" would make a better book title?

So, the elephant I do not want in the room: Out of this stress, tension, and the personal need to justify our own actions, it is likely we will see more and more judging, most often inadvertently, of those who took a different course. Finally to the Bible lesson of the day - apparently the Bible has a lot to say about judging others. Like DON'T DO IT. Beams and specks in eyes and stuff like that. Bette and I are completely confident that we have made the right decision for us. I am neither insightful nor arrogant enough to know what the right decision is for you: so everyone who has chosen a different course than mine has my (and the school's official) full blessing, support, and prayers. And that guilt thing in #1? Don't do that either. Unprecedented events these strange days: in our void of precedent or understanding, there are no right or wrong decisions. Second guessing or hand wringing when this is over? Not expected nor allowed - no matter how dramatic or void of drama the outcome.

Definitely allowed: Love in Action. Loving each other.

I love you, (see - I can say it out loud)

Brian

(I will be downtown this morning meeting with other Kanto schools about next steps, but will be in sometime and will check email throughout the day)

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Tuesday, March 22

Dear staff,

Well, you didn't ask what my first choice of theme would have been, but I'll tell you anyway: Building on the Rock. I love this image, and it goes to the heart of what I believe we are teaching students to do. I was watching a program where they were interviewing Japanese professors/experts about the damage done by the tsunami. The commentator pointed out on a number of photos that some houses seemed to have survived the earthquake pretty well but were close by areas devastated by the waves, and asked why these buildings weren't designed to survive this type of tsunami. Another asked whether in the future buildings would be better designed. The experts bluntly pointed out that there is little that can be done to protect from a 7-meter high wall of water with so much force behind it. While certainly there are many important things that can be done to create safe buildings and find safer places to build them, there are human and physical limitations involved. Not so with our spiritual houses.

"48 They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. 49 But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” Luke 6 (NIV)

Those of us with our spiritual houses on this Rock are secure against any potential problem - even for circumstances we cannot even imagine. I hope that as a result of this terrible disaster they do find safer ways and places to build material homes along the seemingly endless coastline of Japan, but my greater desire is that many Japanese will set strong spiritual foundations on THE Rock.

Yours in Him,

Brian

Another neglected favorite song that has worked its way back into my mind this week:

Jesus is a rock in a weary land

A weary land
A weary land
Jesus is a rock in a weary land
A shelter in the time of storm

Has he ever made a way when you didn't have a dime?

Has he ever stepped in just right on time?
Has he ever picked you up when you were down?
Has he ever placed your feet on solid ground?
Then you know he is a rock in a weary land
A weary land
A weary land
Then you know he is a rock in a weary land
A shelter in the time of storm

Sopranos

Jesus is a rock in a weary land
A weary land
Oh yes he's a rock
YES in a weary land
A shelter in the time of storm I’m a witness that
(Repeat)

Altos

Jesus is a rock he is my shelter in the time of storm
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
YES in a weary land
A shelter in the time of storm
(Repeat)

Tenors

Jesus is a rock he is my shelter in the time of storm
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
YES in a weary land
A shelter in the time of storm
(Repeat)

(To the end the song)

A shelter in the time of storm (Repeat)

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Wednesday, March 23

Dear staff,

I am personally attracted to the God of the narrative. I love stories, and I tend to think of God as a wise storyteller (admittedly with a deep resonant voice like James Earl Jones) helping us to get glimpse of His plans for us by parable, example, metaphor. I think my prejudice leads me to dismiss numbers as man stuff: either for scientists or Jewish numerologists who add things together in the Torah to make sense of the world.

But God is very much a God of the physics and the numbers. The world, seemingly such a chaotic and unpredictable place, is actually highly ordered and controlled. Down to the very small details. The millisieverts and micro-whosits.

When God says in Jeremiah 29, "For I know the plans I have for you... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," He is not just talking about the narrative of our lives. He is referring to the physical world around us that is controlled by the parameters He designed and He holds in place. The math and physics that He has allowed us to understand in order to get a glimpse of His divinity in the same way, and just as profoundly, as a story about healing a leper. Every sparrow, star, hair on our head is accounted for, cared for, in place. Requiring math and science beyond our frail, human understanding. But God has allowed us the ability to measure radiation, understand how it works, and predict how it breaks down.

God has allowed us to know to some extent the effect of this number on that number throughout creation. And when we look carefully we see a cosmos of things in place, in time, in sync. That story of the healed leper is, after all, about blood counts and reduced area of infection and viral loads and countless other numbers. I now wish I had spent more time in my physics class thinking about this and less time running Pink Floyd songs through the oscilloscope we built.

Yours in Him,

Brian

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Thursday, March 24

Dear staff,

Winding down towards spring break and much welcome rest! Today I am going to let others do the talking.

At my meeting with other headmasters on Monday I expressed my concern that our community might be divided between those who left and those who stayed. An administrator who was working in Kobe following the earthquake said it not only happened there, but the bitterness lingered for a long time. I am hoping and praying that CAJ staff will be an example in our community of how to properly react and respond to each other with understanding and love.

Jeannie sent me the following in a reply to my devotional the other day:

I have slowly been developing my own Biblical perspective on the "fight or flight" tension. I've come up with the decision that it is so important for each one to stay very close to God to hear what He is saying to him/her individually. God may give one command to one and a different command to another.

In the Bible, Jacob's family left Israel for Egypt in the famine of Joseph's day, Paul fled from Damascus in a basket, and Jesus himself was carried out of Israel to Egypt by Mary and Joseph. On the other hand, Paul stayed in the Philippian jail rather than running away at the time of the earthquake and Jesus stayed and endured the cross to the finish.

This whole crisis is an exercise in listening carefully to what God is saying to me personally. I love John 21 when Peter was trying to get Jesus to give a cookie cutter response regarding the future of John and the other disciples.

Jesus replies to Peter, "If I want him (John) to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."

Well said, Jeannie.

And I wanted to also add John Piper's prayer for Japan that has been sent out to some of you already via your principals, and was used by Dusty in chapel yesterday (special thanks to Dusty, Debi, Damon and Yujiro for that delightful time of fellowship).

"Father in heaven, you are the absolute Sovereign over the shaking of the earth, the rising of the sea, and the raging of the waves. We tremble at your power and bow before your unsearchable judgments and inscrutable ways. We cover our faces and kiss your omnipotent hand. We fall helpless to the floor in prayer and feel how fragile the very ground is beneath our knees.

O God, we humble ourselves under your holy majesty and repent. In a moment—in the twinkling of an eye—we too could be swept away. We are not more deserving of firm ground than our fellowmen in Japan. We too are flesh. We have bodies and homes and cars and family and precious places. We know that if we were treated according to our sins, who could stand? All of it would be gone in a moment. So in this dark hour we turn against our sins, not against you.

And we cry for mercy for Japan. Mercy, Father. Not for what they or we deserve. But mercy.

Have you not encouraged us in this? Have we not heard a hundred times in your Word the riches of your kindness, forbearance, and patience? Do you not a thousand times withhold your judgments, leading your rebellious world toward repentance? Yes, Lord. For your ways are not our ways, and your thoughts are not our thoughts.

Grant, O God, that the wicked will forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts. Grant us, your sinful creatures, to return to you, that you may have compassion. For surely you will abundantly pardon. Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord Jesus, your beloved Son, will be saved.

May every heart-breaking loss—millions upon millions of losses—be healed by the wounded hands of the risen Christ. You are not unacquainted with your creatures' pain. You did not spare your own Son, but gave him up for us all.

In Jesus you tasted loss. In Jesus you shared the overwhelming flood of our sorrows and suffering. In Jesus you are a sympathetic Priest in the midst of our pain.

Deal tenderly now, Father, with this fragile people. Woo them. Win them. Save them.

And may the floods they so much dread make blessings break upon their head.

O let them not judge you with feeble sense, but trust you for your grace. And so behind this providence, soon find a smiling face.

In Jesusʼ merciful name, Amen."

Amen indeed.

Yours in Him,

Brian

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Friday, March 25

My dear brothers and sisters,

We are all yearning for "this" to be over. But this situation is not only not over, but the not knowing when it will be over grinds on our nerves and sensibilities.

And I am not really sure what I mean by over anyway. How will we define that? A rebuilt Japan? Our emotions in order? No more disasters in our lives?

Last night the seniors experienced a major earthquake where they are staying in Thailand. So much for being thankful that they wouldn't need to be here tensing, as we do, every time we feel the slightest vibration. Why do I continue to be surprised that the world is an unsettled place? And in so many more ways than tectonic plates shifting. As I reflect on the moments of shock and surprise in my life I see an endless string of assassinations, natural disasters, riots, natural disasters, war, terrorist acts, natural disasters...

What about my 53 years experience has led me to believe that the stasis of my life is one of tranquility or some kind of "normality"? I have to think it is because there is so much beauty, love, peace and blessed assurance surrounding us, even in this fallen world, that I keep lulling myself into feeling secure with my physical, material life. Then WHAM! Only the spiritual part of my life is on solid ground.

Early on in this current crisis a dear friend, Nate's mother, posted this verse from Haggai 2 in her blog with a moving commentary about living on unsettled soil wherever we are:

6 “This is what the LORD Almighty says: ʻIn a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land.

Once more, in a little while. But the text doesn't stop there:

7 I will shake all nations, and what is desired by all nations will come,"

Wait for it:

"and I will fill this house with glory,ʼ says the LORD Almighty. 8 ʻThe silver is mine and the gold is mine,ʼ declares the LORD Almighty. 9 ʻThe glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,ʼ says the LORD Almighty. ʻAnd in this place I will grant peace,ʼ declares the LORD Almighty.”

We can anticipate no "over" here on earth. This life, for all its delights, remains a veil of tears. But notice that God does intend to fill this house with Glory! He will reclaim those things we superficially consider wealth. And this glory, in this new, unrecognizable place, will be much greater than anything we can imagine. And we will be granted peace - the Lord Almighty declares it. Finally. Completely. Blessed assurance.

Yours in Him,

Brian

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Refrain:

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,

Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels, descending, bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest,

I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

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The blog I referred to: here

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Saturday, March 26 (A)

Dear staff,

First of all, in no way is this particular devotional meant to be a "get a grip" message. We have been through a lot. Our stresses, fears, frustrations, and reactions are all real and should be reflected on, and validated by, ourselves and by others without guilt or judgment. It is healthy to acknowledge that we individually and collectively have been through a life changing experience. However, it personally helps me to put my experience in perspective to compare it to others. Meeting with administrators, for example, that had been in Kobe during that earthquake or in Israel during the Gulf War, or hearing what heads of school from Libya and Egypt are dealing with, helps me to understand that I am not a singled out victim. I have a small role to play in a complicated, challenging and difficult situation. I feel no guilt about my own trembling and weakness in these past weeks, but I also do not intend to put my experience on a pedestal in the museum of suffering.

A few days ago a friend sent us this recording of a beautiful song that could have been written specifically for Japan at this time. Written just for me. However, this song was composed years ago, and the friend played it often for comfort during her own personal disaster; her husband's long and continuing bout with a rare form of leukemia. Her crisis came complete with its own form of aftershocks, set backs to stabilization, stress and exhaustion of the body, spirit and soul. "O yeah," I told myself as I listened to it several times through on Sunday morning, "other people in other places suffer too."

"Well duh," you might respond, but taking a step back helps me to slide my own role into its appropriate significance level, and allows me avoid excessive wallowing in this muck that surrounds us in the here and now (some wallowing recommended - but don't get lost in the mud).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlL8LayF0uw

I have unanswered prayers

I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand

How to walk this weary land

Make straight the paths that crooked lie

Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking

Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth

You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking

Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands

Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking

Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking

Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking

I never leave...

I never leave Your hands

Saturday, March 26 (B)

Dear Staff,

Thank you to those who sent feedback on the scheduled modifications. The most common response, as I expected, was: "I am ready to help with whatever." At my meeting with other headmasters some were trying to calculate how many staff would not return and how many might not be fit for duty when school starts. I was happy to not share their concern. We do, however, understand that you have been through a lot. Please let us help you so you can help others. Let us know what you need.

The schedule modifications I sent before were all approved though one was modified. The senior comps day will now be a 1/2 day of classes for all students K-11 with all the presentations happening in the afternoon. This is how we used to do it until just a couple years ago. It makes for a long day for the teachers, but I know most of you love the presentation experience, so I am hoping it is not too overwhelming.

We are concerned about the many weeks remaining without a day off, especially with Golden Week holiday being removed. I know many of you are reluctant to use your personal days as you do not want to be away from your students or have to prepare for a sub, but we encourage you to consider using some of your days this spring. If you are out of days but really need the break, please come and see your supervisor. I do highly recommend you make spring break truly a break. Many of you are working very hard to meet your school and volunteer expectations, or you feel the additional burdens of traveling, family care, etc. Self-care is not selfish. We have an important mission to accomplish at CAJ by preparing these students. Perhaps never more important in CAJ's long history than now. We need you to be as healthy and ready as possible.

There is one expectation that you might have practical questions about for your supervisor. We are offering families who cannot return by April 4 at least one week of virtual schooling in parallel with our program. It may be a simplified version of what you are doing, or the type of accommodation you would provide for a student on a trip or with an extended illness. If you need help preparing for and maintaining this (photocopying, technical assistance, whatever) let us know. We have had requests for a more extended period of distance learning than this for some students, and we will be exploring with individual teachers what that might look like. We do not know how many students might be missing from our classrooms, but we are asking parents to report to us.

At this link is a draft of what we intend to send out to parents and students on Friday. Please do take a few minutes to read and provide feedback before Friday morning if you can. It is in the process of being translated. Please do not release details of this email outside of the staff until it is made public.

Your servant in Him,

Brian

An option for funds

Dear staff,

Some have approached us as a school and expressed a desire to donate to CAJ, but they would also like to address the current disasters. We have started a fund for this purpose. This is a wonderful connection between our mission of preparing students and addressing the long-term needs this crisis has created. We do not desire to compete with the wonderful work being done by front line disaster relief organizations, including CRASH and many of our missions, but this is another alternative some of us will be able to offer our supporters and those who ask.

Yours in Him,

Brian

You can find links on the web page.

Disaster Relief Fund: Love in Action: CAJ has started a disaster relief fund in response to the multiple crises in Japan. This fund is disaster assistance. Please consider giving generously to organizations that are providing immediate relief to disaster victims in the affected areas. This fund will finance long-term recovery and rebuilding, efforts in which our students and staff will be directly involved. We welcome your contributions.

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Saturday, March 26: Wrap Up

Dear staff,

So, this will be the last of my regular morning emails - though certainly not the last you will hear from me in the coming days. I am excited about reopening soon, but there will be many details to work through. We are all concerned about what condition our students will be in when they come back. Are they emotionally ok? Spiritually? Will they be ready to learn? I have the same heartfelt concerns about you: Are you ok? What do you need to be ready? Are you personally able to be ready? Available to help - let me know. I will be doing some site-seeing from Tuesday through Friday (hoping to recreate the Nagasaki trip for David if he isn't too exhausted from Thailand), but I will check my email often, carry my phone, and be around as much as possible in the coming days and next weekend.

Last weekend I worked really, really, really hard at relaxing. I started a book, watched some movies, walked the dog down to Starbucks for coffee and people watching at our favorite outdoor table, tried to nap, listened to Prairie Home Companion (radio show), a lot of the things that usually help me to unwind. But nothing worked. I ended the weekend seemingly more tired than I started. Nothing could distract me from the decisions that needed to be made, the constantly changing environment that affected those decisions, and my concern for this place and people (yes, you). But I am confident (though, of course, not certain) that this weekend and parts of the week ahead will be different for me personally. Better. We have a solid plan in place for re- opening, the building and campus are largely closed for the coming week, and I can shift into a different pace and mode: carefully monitoring the still changing situation but not driven by the need to decide now. and now. and now.

My prayer for each of you in the coming days is for successful and substantive rest and restoration. Throughout this week I will be praying that as we are restored, our enthusiasm for what happens on April 4 (or when we do reopen) will increase daily. The job description for everyone who works at CAJ is preparing children to impact a fallen and broken world for His sake. How cool is that! I can feel the enthusiasm returning already!

Yours in Him,

Brian

Jeremiah 31 1 “At that time,” declares the LORD, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they will be my people.”

2 This is what the LORD says:

“The people who survive the sword will find favor in the wilderness; I will come to give rest to Israel.”

3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. 4 I will build you up again, and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful. 5 Again you will plant vineyards on the hills of Samaria; the farmers will plant them and enjoy their fruit. (NIV)

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March 28: About Decision Making Process

Dear staff,

I have declined requests to publish summarized information or provide any kind of significant situational analysis for either our community or staff. This was an intentional attempt to avoid influencing what I still believe to be a personal/family decision about whether to stay or to go. To those who have asked specific questions about the situation I did try to provide and even decipher the information I had, and I did pursue ways to refute misinformation among some individuals. In some cases this just meant pointing out the date on an article or hi-lighting a detail or phrase here or there. There was, and is, so much blatant misinformation going around that it was personally hard not to weigh in with my own assessment.

As I take apart, examine, and evaluate every aspect of my own response and responsibilities these past couple of weeks, I now think I should have provided, instead of the analysis itself, a listing of the sources we are using to base decisions on. Note: the crisis and leadership teams will also be doing extensive reviews of the situation later, and we will be open to additional feedback and input beyond the assessment of the evacuation on the 11th we are still actively seeking via the Google doc.

As we are still carefully assessing the situation while we remain optimistic about the possibility of opening on April 4, I wanted to provide you with this information now. We are still regularly examining these sources:

The Japanese federal government, especially now as they have gotten much better at releasing information to other governments and the public:

• Public news briefings
• Regularly updated radiation readings: http://www.mext.go.jp/english/radioactivity_level/detail/1303986.htm

Local government:

• Websites (in Japanese so being monitored for me)
• We have had regular contact with city hall by phone regarding power outages and the status of Japanese schools.
• The water authority for this area by phone contact (our water source, Musashi-Murayama Water *Purification Plant, was not affected by the recent downtown warnings but we confirmed that information just to be sure)

The World Health Organization: WHO

The International Atomic Energy Agency IAEA: They are providing regular updates here.

The US Embassy

• I recommended before signing up for their email updates.
• And you can read through their reports here. Their reports have often been misquoted in the press - I think they are getting better at being clear and direct. My personal favorite (as an observer of the rhetoric and journalism) is this one from a few days ago where they bluntly say in an effort to limit misquotes: [1] we are not only still here and doing our job, but we have expanded the number of people working here to deal with the crisis}. (We also get occasional information from other countries embassy sites)

Other international schools: Regular email contact, in person meeting a week ago. Many of these schools have more embassy and government official's students as well as corporate families so their information and observing their response is valuable to us in many ways.

Trains and power:

• Seibu and other train lines websites
• Published TEPCO information about blackouts Higashi Kurume city hall website and phone contact

Miscellaneous:

• Regular synthesis and comparison of both Japanese and international news. Both more established and reputable sources and the more inflammatory ones. If I could offer one piece of advice to those consuming news right now it would be: read the entire article carefully - do not riff off the headlines or lead paragraphs.
• Articles, often quite technical in nature, by experts in the field as well as articles by medical professionals that are increasing in number.
• Stars and Stripes, the US military's magazine: both for the situation at local bases and the future of school activities
• Live (but often down so I am relying more on the twice a day information charts above) feeds of geiger counters:
• Joel has helped with a basic understanding of the numbers
• Relatives of a school family who are engineers involved with the nuclear industry provided information about the engineering of the nuclear plants and possible impact on us as well as proving more information on what the numbers mean for us in Tokyo

I know - it is a lot to take in. I appreciate the trust many of you have put in us, but I still recommend making your own decisions based on your interpretation of the above information.

Yours in Him,

Brian

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March 29: Perspective

Dear staff,

From Monday's paper:

A group of nurses from Nagano who travelled to Miyagi to help were sleeping on the floor in a largely unheated hospital overrun with victims and exhausted staff, on sheets of cardboard with only one blanket and their jackets as an extra covering. Their quote: "Compared to the disaster victims we are in a much better situation."

From the weekend news:

• Talking to a woman at a shelter whose home had been destroyed (paraphrased from the translation): "Compared to those who do not have food and shelter we are better off."
• An interview with a fisherman whose house had been destroyed and boat heavily damaged and who lived within a few kilometers of the Fukushima plant: "I do not know what the future holds for me, but at least my family is safe."

An interview with a woman who had found her mother in a shelter but whose father was still missing, "I do not know what she will do without him, but at least we have found each other."

I feel no survivor's angst about the fact that we have power, that I have not missed a meal, that I have a bed to sleep in, nor that our building, staff and students were spared. I also feel no sense of entitlement or privilege. It is what it is. What we experience is not the reference point, how we react is. There is no nobility in suffering, but it can be found in our reaction to our suffering. There is certainly nobility when we respond well to suffering in other people's lives. And I am confident we will respond exceptionally well as individuals and as a community. We already have. Beautifully.

From the song above:

"I am trying to understand
how to walk in this weary land."

Yours in Him,

Brian

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March 31

Dear staff,

Below you will find a message I sent out to parents and students this morning.

A couple of additional details for staff:

1. Monday starting about 7 (~7-8 a.m.) Bette and I will be hosting a light continental breakfast in the atrium. Please stop by if you can, even if it is only for a few minutes, to re-connect with each other.
2. Teaching staff are getting instructions from their principals, and included in those instructions is the expectation that we automatically provide distance learning for students not here for the first week. After that some students will still need an off-campus option. To help with needing to dual task, we will be assigning someone to assist with scanning, photocopying or other TA style work, and our tech team remains available to help with whatever. Please bring materials to the academic office with clear and specific instructions written out, and we will try for a next day response.
3. We are anticipating good attendance numbers on Monday but there will be missing students. We are using the same shared Google doc entitled "where are our students this week" to track those students who have notified us of their plans to delay their return or to not return at all. Please use this evolving information to plan, but use the details with discretion and tact. I know there will be discussion about age and situation appropriate closure for those who are not returning as well as ensuring good transitions back for those who will be gone for awhile.
4. At the very bottom of this email is an exchange from a school in Haiti from people known to some of you and forwarded by Martie. It provides insights for us.
5. Highly recommended activity for the weekend: pray for each other, pray for yourself, pray for our students and families, pray for Japan.

Yours in Him,
Brian

Dear CAJ parents, guardians and students,

I am delighted to report that CAJ plans to resume on-campus classes on Monday, April 4. Our staff have been working hard to get ready for the return of students, and we are excited to get back to our mission of preparing students to impact the world for Christ.

Please do read carefully the re-opening announcement posted on the website as it has important details for all families.

A few key details from the announcement:

1. Please do let us know if you will be absent on Monday: registrar@caj.or.jp
2. Teachers are planning on automatically providing distance learning options until Monday, April 11, and arrangements for beyond that date can be made through the principal in your division:
   • High School: afoxwell@caj.or.jp
   • Middle School: thall@caj.or.jp
   • Elementary: jwillson@caj.or.jp
3. The calendar has been modified: please check out the dates in the announcement and make the changes on your paper calendars. Please watch for possible further changes to activities and schedules.
4. We will be doing our part to be good residents of Japan at this time and aggressively conserving power. Heating and air conditioning will be limited so please dress appropriately.

My hope for our reuniting: We know that on Monday there will be some students absent. Some of those will be returning in the coming days and weeks, and some will not. From the beginning of this difficult experience we have promised that we would support each family's decision, and we remain committed to that promise. Whether you are here on Monday or not, please do let us know how we can help. I do have some concerns about possible divisions in our community as a result of choices that were made to stay or go. When I expressed that concern to an administrator involved in a school in Kobe following the devastating earthquake there, he said that conflict between those who stayed and those who left happened there, and the pain it caused never really went away. I desire better for our community.

My concern is based on some specific things I have observed:

1. A strong need to justify leaving: whether it is to take advantage of adding time to spring break for an already planned trip, to get children away from the worst case scenario, because they are being forced to by home offices or companies, or the most common: to get away from the stress of being here. All of these and all other reasons are legitimate and reasonable, but attached to these conversations is sometimes evidence of potentially corrosive guilt feelings.
2. A strong need to justify staying: tying it to mission, or calling, or need, or by claiming that there is no reason to leave and everything is ok. This is too often expressed in absolutes - that an individual decision to stay means others should have stayed as well.

Out of this stress, tension, and the personal need to justify our own actions, it is likely we will see more and more judging, most often inadvertently, of those who took a different course. I do believe it will most often be done without intentional malice. It will be in comments like "I didn't want to take any chances with MY child" - perhaps implying that others were being reckless.

Or it might be along the lines of: "It was all media hype and there was no reason to leave," or "I wouldn't even think of leaving because MY calling is here." We will need to carefully guard our words and actions, and just as importantly we will also need to choose not to be offended.

The Bible has a lot to say about judging others. Like don't do it. Passages about planks and specks in eyes (Matthew 7:3) and others. Bette and I are completely confident that we have made the right decision for us. I am neither insightful nor arrogant enough to know what the right decision is for you. So everyone who has chosen a different course than mine has my (and the school's official) full blessing, support, and prayers. And that guilt I mentioned above in #1? Don't do that either. There have been unprecedented events in these strange and stressful days. In our void of precedent or

understanding, there are no right or wrong decisions about what course to choose for your family. Second guessing or hand wringing when this is over? Not expected nor allowed at CAJ - no matter how dramatic or void of drama the ultimate outcome.

Definitely allowed: Love in Action. Loving and accepting each other. For His sake.

Your servant in Him,

Brian Vander Haak Headmaster
Christian Academy in Japan

[information from Martie about Haiti not included here]

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April 2: Why?

Dear staff,

When I was in college I worked as a driver bringing inner city kids to Calvin College's campus for tutoring and enrichment experiences. Every Saturday my first pick up and last drop off was a non-Christian girl in maybe 4th or 5th grade. We had lots of chances to talk on the long ride, and she broke my heart as she gradually shared more and more of her life in a highly dysfunctional and broken home. Following a catastrophic earthquake in Mexico, a place she had never been though her mom was from there, a young girl her age was found days later: orphaned, dehydrated, hurt so badly they would need to amputate her legs, but alive. That Saturday she said nothing after I picked her up. It wasn't until I was bringing her home and in that last few minutes when we were the only ones left in the van that she asked: "If your God is a God of love, how can He let that happen?" I froze. I managed to choke out some lame answer not satisfying to either of us. She dropped out of the program, and we never had a chance to talk again.

Are you ready for that question? And the many others that students might ask? Or worse yet, may be thinking but do not ask?

What I so badly wanted to share with this special young girl was about how God's love is freely shared with us, individually and collectively, in spite of our fallen nature. In spite of the fact that we regularly spurn Him and fail to appreciate His gifts to us. That we live in a fallen world of great horror but also great beauty. That God uses tragedy and sorrow to bring about special miracles, joy and transformation. A minor example of which is that God used the haunting memory of this exchange to challenge me to live my spiritual life in better ways. I wanted her to know that we can not understand the ways or mind of God, and it leads us to ask unanswerable questions, but we are reassured that the Bible shows a God of love and grace who shows undeserved compassion just as beyond understanding as tragedy.

But most of all I wanted to tell this troubled young girl who was at risk physically, emotionally, spiritually, that God loved us so much He made sure to provide us a very clear way to understand the "why," or at least the "why not," of tragedy. Jesus spoke directly to this in Luke 13 (below). There is comfort in knowing that tragedy is not automatically direct, divine retribution. Bad situations are not always God's anger focused specifically on the individual victim. I wanted her to know that my desire for her to accept Christ was not because an angry God was going to reach out at any moment and trap her in the rubble, but because His love would make her whole and protect her heart and soul in ways I was not able to protect her from in the physical quagmire that was her life. I wanted her to be reassured that circumstances might dictate that you live on a fault line, but what happens as a result is not your fault. I failed to tell this girl who so obviously was searching for personal meaning, that the misery in her own life was not her fault.

We are a "big tent" school. We remain true to our own convictions, but by policy and practice we do more than tolerate a broad range of interpretation within the umbrella of Christian belief. We respect and even honor each other's theologies. We likely have a broad range of theological interpretations about the "why" of this earthquake. Most of us embrace the mainstream answer a Biola professor provided for the LA Times (reprinted in the Daily Yomiuri): "Is God judging Japan? Well, no more than He's judging me." But possibly not all of us share that view. I do want to respect the range of beliefs we have, so it is not lightly that I make the following statement: If you truly believe that God brought this earthquake and the aftermath to Japan as a direct punishment for the specific sins of the Japanese. That the lessons of Luke 13 do not apply here. Please do not share that belief with the students. It is too difficult to comprehend and will be alienating - certainly at this time. The way the theology of direct and personal judgment and retribution is playing out on the Internet and other media is just too ugly. My tolerance does have limits. The tent isn't that big.

What will be particularly challenging is when a student or parent espouses a view of this tragedy as personal judgment for the Japanese. And yes, some do believe this. And others will want to know about where such views, that they have seen in the rawest of forms thanks to the internet, come from. We need to be prepared to calmly and gently provide context for other positions. It is not enough to just state that God is a God of love, we need to show evidence of it and model it.

Throughout my life I have often found myself thinking about a young Hispanic girl in Grand Rapids in 1978. I hope that later in her life someone had better answers for her than I did. My hope and prayer is that you will be better prepared and have better answers for your students.

Yours in Him,

Brian

Luke 13 (NIV)

1 Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. 2 Jesus answered, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way?3 I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. 4 Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”

6 Then he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree growing in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it but did not find any. 7 So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’

8 “‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it. 9 If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.’”

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Monday,
 April
 11


Dear staff,

We loaded a van to the roof with fruit and vegetables - thank you for your generosity! It was the right choice. We dropped off supplies for a few families at Takayama (missionary community), then found some Japanese families known to us and helped them, then through them dropped off supplies at a distribution center that specializes in getting supplies to individual affected families. Our first reaction as we lined up with large army lorries unloading supplies was that we were insignificant, but when they saw what we brought, both the soldiers and the volunteer coordinators were effusive in their thanks. In that large room stacked high with rice and canned goods, the only other fresh products we saw were a few boxes of bananas. Our van load made a big impact - thanks to you! Taking baby Ezra along turned out to be a good call as well: baby therapy everywhere we went ;<)

Yours in Him,

Brian




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Friday,
 April
 15


Dear staff,

The bad news first. I hate to tell you this, but most of you know it already: now the hard part starts. We, and those we love and are responsible for, are worn down, fragile, and need something. But "something" has become far more abstract and far more differentiated. It is becoming more difficult to know what to do next for ourselves and for others. It is our calling to serve others and help make them whole again, but it is hard when we feel underserved and un-whole ourselves. Some of you are wondering how, maybe whether, you are going to make it to the end of the year. We all feel the wear in the fabric of our lives.

And now for the good news. No matter what direction we look there are opportunities to be blessed.

We look up and see a God of great love and compassion. A God who cares down to the individual sparrow or hair. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He is there for us - but we need to be open to Him. Are you reading the Bible? Attending church? Seeking out opportunities to pray and reflect? Calling out? Asking HIm for what you need? Accepting what He has to offer?

We look towards those we are called to serve right here at CAJ, and we find great blessing in meaningful work. When we fulfill our calling, whether it is in a classroom, or office, fixing or preparing something, or just being with others, we are being the hands and feet (and all those other parts) of God every bit as much as someone handing out food and love in the disaster zone. God built us to serve others, and we only find meaning and peace when we are doing so. The cliche's are right: we get more than we give.

We look around and we realize that we are shoulder to shoulder in this vineyard with like-minded, like-motivated individuals. Brothers and sisters who will reach out to us and fill us up, and who need to be reached out to so that they may in turn be filled up and restored. And that two-way love provides the balance we need to do so much more than survive the coming weeks, but to also thrive. How can you bless me by letting me serve you?

A guide for the coming weeks:

• Love God and accept His love.
• Love and serve those who God called us to serve.
• Love each other and accept each other's love as God has directed us to do.

What we do at CAJ to prepare students is vital for the future, not just in Japan, but also for an impacted world. Our core mission has not changed though I see the importance and immediacy of it more clearly now. I am delighted and reassured that we are in this together.

Your servant in Him,

Brian

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